My Dearest, Sweetest, Oldest friend
I seek with all my heart to mend
this tragic rift – colossal fault
between cumin and seasoned salt
I did not mean to hurt – offend
but instead most strongly to defend
this recipe this hallowed text
from expectant taste bud’s cruelly vexed
their comment's cruel and most obscene
turn down right school yard bully mean
when true disappointment settles in
and I can't keep a risen chin
or false complimentary smiles
that seem to go for miles and miles
I'll try instead to say nice things
while imagination takes on wings
so I can dream of proper food
and most unhappily conclude
that I will not be back again
this treatment has been inhumane
I'm sure you know, you are no fool
that remakes are so rarely cool
forgive me love, you just must know
the problem with your new bread dough
you see it used to taste like love
but now it's more a mourning dove
the kind that sings a broken song
without a sense of right and wrong
so please forgive this sad address
but I would prefer you acquiesce
to return to recipes of old
and stop experimenting uncontrolled
I miss your classic eggs benedict
as it was before you were a derelict
so I'll conclude this wretched plea
and on that thought I'll let you be
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